10 ways childbirth, child raising, and releasing a novel will drive you nuts.

Yep, it’s true. Publishing a book is very much like childbirth and raising a family. Here’s my top ten:

  1. Barb and Ellie feel as if they’re “stuck in the onesies,” like in the game of jacks. Well, they might be playing catch-up, but at least they’re having fun.Losing sleep – It starts long before birth. Authors get ideas in the middle of the night and babies love to use Mom’s bladder for a pillow. It’s the coming attractions for many sleepless nights.
  2. Picking a name – You find one you like and your spouse doesn’t agree. You finally decide and some of us end up apologizing to their adult child for the selection. With your book, you think of a title, but halfway through, you realize you’ve found a better one, more suited to the story. Then after it’s published, you wish you’d used the first one.
  3. What to wear – You get to dress your kids until they hit double digits. Then the battle is real every day (no more frilly dresses or jeans with no holes). The bad news about your book is that once you choose the cover, you’re stuck with it for good unless you pay for a revision. In other words, I’m stuck with my cover and have decided to embrace it.
  4. The revolving door – It’s every parent’s nightmare. Now don’t get me wrong, sometimes you gotta go home for a bit, but what parent doesn’t worry about this? You’ve taught them to walk, talk, and run. Now you hope they can do it on their own. Same with a book. You push it out of the nest and pray it learns to fly before it hits the bricks.
  5. Worry – It never fixed a thing, but we do it anyway. Will they do well in school? Make friends? Be productive? Will the book be a page turner? Will someone laugh or cry?
  6. Tattle tales – It’s every parent’s hope that the kids will drop each other in the grease and help us to keep tabs on what’s really going on. With your book, you hope your friends will do the same and let you know your story’s flaws. Kinda.
  7. “A face only a mother can love” – We’ve all heard the phrase and it’s so true. We see our kids’ flaws and still offer up unconditional love. Same thing goes for your novel. The author sees the flaws, but loves it anyway.
  8. Airing  your dirty laundry – Social media adds a new dimension to this terror for both our kids and the author’s book. It’s all out there for the world to see.
  9. Transitioning – During labor, we go through “transition.” Yeah right. I call it, “get this kid outta me now!” time. With a book, you just have to know when to let go and watch it take on a life of its own. It sneaks up on you, but you’ll know when the time is right. At least this time, I didn’t scream (out loud).
  10. Labor pains – Mention childbirth and every woman that’s been there will offer up her story. How quickly she forgets the cravings, no sleep, and labor pains, and then has another baby. Have I told you about my next book?

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