Christmas has always been my favorite time of year. Yep, it’s way too busy, or at least it used to be, but I loved every minute. Still do, even though things have changed.
We had three kids and ten grands. Talk about fun. Then my kids grew up and theirs did too.
This is Christmas Number Four without my husband, Jeff. It doesn’t seem possible. Each year that passes, things get quieter and quieter at my house. Seasons change four times a year and, I’m finding, there are at least that many seasons in a lifetime.
I had Alexa playing Christmas music in the house the other tonight. I’ve worn out the Carpenters Christmas album already this season. I’d never heard, “Where are You, Christmas?” before. As soon as she sang the first few stanzas, I was in a puddle of tears. Here’s the first stanza:
Where are you Christmas?
Why can’t I find you?
Why have you gone away?
Tears for memories of Christmas past playing Santa for our three kids when they were little. We used layaway to afford to give them what they thought they wanted most. Watching their faces light up when Santa had left just the right present is a parent’s huge reward. Made my heart sing. Then my parents would would show up and it was as if Santa’s sled had pulled up out front yet again.
However, our kids turned into teenagers and sucked the fun right out of the holiday. It’s true, once kids hit double digits and get the big teeth, things change. Cash and gift cards were all they wanted, although we were way too broke for many of those. We had to stick with the “poofy packages” that held their coveted designer clothes. Yeah, Vanderbilt and Hilfiger got lots of our hard earned money. Rumor has it that my great grandfather left his fortune to a Vanderbilt rather than his ner’do well son. I always knew I was too lazy to have been born this poor, but that’s not a blog, it’s more like a book. Hmmm…And to think Gloria Vanderbilt perfume has always been my favorite. SMH.
Santa’s sled got much lighter and smaller as the years went by.
Where is the laughter,
You used to bring me?
Why can’t I hear music play?
Enter grandchildren. Christmas was an absolute blast with ten (yep, TEN) little ones. We had so much fun shopping and filling up the shed’s toy room with presents as soon as Christmas was over and stocked up for the next year. Jeff and I would call each other when we’d find a great deal at a Walmart on toys for next Christmas. Good times. I had to buy just about all the leftover wrapping paper the store had to wrap it all up.
My world is changing
I’m rearranging
Does that mean Christmas changes too?
The years passed and the grands got the big teeth too. Jeff passed away and lots of things changed. I’ve lost friends and made new, very dear ones. Life is good, full of memories, but also full of promise. Full of adventures I’ve yet to have.
Christmas is here, everywhere
Christmas is here, if you care
If there is love in your heart and your mind
You will feel like Christmas all the time
Where are you Christmas?
Why can’t I find you?
Why have you gone away?
Where is the laughter,
You used to bring me?
Why can’t I hear music play?
My world is changing
I’m rearranging
Does that mean Christmas changes too?
Where are you Christmas?
Do you remember,
The one you used to know?
I’m not the same one
See what the time has done
Is that why you have let me go?
Christmas is here, everywhere
Oh, oh
Christmas is here, if you care
Oh
If there is love in your heart and your mind
You will feel like Christmas all the time
Oh
I feel you Christmas
I know I found you
You never fade away
Oh
The joy of Christmas
Stays here inside us
Fills each and every heart
With love
Where are you Christmas?
Fill your heart with love
It’s time for yet another Merry Christmas, one that lives on in our hearts every one of our days. Just a reminder for you to savor every minute and all the craziness of the holidays. Enjoy each other, but most of all, enjoy the Reason for the season. The One that keeps us loving one another as only He can show us how to do.